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FreeCell

It's like a drug -- and I am addicted to FreeCell. I found one game of FreeCell that totally stumped me. Which is actually kind of nice, because I was getting a little bored with winning all the time. I still haven't won it yet: game #13751. Oh my God. I know I'm going to have dreams about it tonight. I'm going to be chased around by red 6s and black 8s and the Ace of spades. I seemed to have an abundance of black 5s and red 9s and red 7s, but no red 6s and no black 8s to bridge the two. And the only Ace I could free up was the Ace of spades. So I'm pretty sure what I'll be dreaming about tonight.

I really have to win it now, because Tom and I were in a race to see who could win it first. Naturally, I had to go eat because my blood sugar was really low, so I couldn't really concentrate on it anymore. He didn't win it while I was eating; no, he won it later, while I was *still* struggling with it! And it made me mad, so now I have to prove to myself that I can win this particular game. No, I can't stand it that Tom won it before I did. He goes around gloating and just generally acting like a two-year-old about it, so that makes *not* winning tonight even worse. Grrrr.

In other news, split pea soup and whole grain bread makes a girl really gassy. Wow!

Today, I officially began my spring training. Training for what, you say? Well, funny you should ask because I'm not really sure what I'm training for! Each year I do it: February is barely a new month and out I go, braving the elements, although you didn't need much courage to venture outside today, that's for sure! And that's one reason I chose today to do it -- the quest for a healthier body, stronger muscles, more flexibility. And what more incentive does one need than unseasonably warm temps in February? Oh, the mild weather beckoned me today, and I answered it's call. Even though I did not have my CD player to listen to, I made do with an old cassette player, and listened to the soundtrack of "Toys".

This year I'm doing things a little differently. I'm not going to aim for any kind of preset numbers: I'm not going to say, "Okay, today I'm going to walk for 30 minutes, do 25 situps, and 92 lunges." Instead I'm going to do as much as I can and record what I do, at least at first. I think that may be what led to discouragement for me in the past, and ultimately quitting. That and the ill-fitting shoes. I'm going to Gazelle Sports this year and I'm getting fitted for a pair of running shoes by someone who knows what the hell they're talking about. I'm not getting any younger, and it might be worthwhile to invest not only the money but also the time in getting properly fitted.

So my goal this year is to get out, no matter what, or else if the weather is bad (and not like that's ever stopped me from going out for a run before), then I'm doing yoga. Or something. Or I'll dance for 20 minutes. I'm also going to try changing things up, depending on my mood. If I feel like using the free weights first before I go running, so be it. If I feel like doing an hour of yoga and no cardio, so be it. I'm going to do whatever the hell I please, and see if I'm more successful about staying on track this time.

The other thing I've decided to shift my focus from is what I look like. I think that distracts me more than anything. I think if I concentrate more on how I'm feeling, rather than how I'm looking, hopefully that too will help me stay focused for more than a month. I think that will make me less prone to overdoing it too, because I won't be trying to fit my body into some preconceived ideal I have in my head. I really believe if I concentrate on how it's making me feel, and go for muscular strength rather than muscle tone, then eventually I'll see the results on the outside. Luckily, I learned good form through my ballet classes, and the weight training I did for a short time at Bally's, once upon a time. I know how to lift weights, I know the importance of counting through moves. I don't need to see myself in a mirror to know how to do the moves right.

I also have another very good motivation for sticking to a kinetic improvement routine: better sex, hoo-ha!! I mean, no wonder I feel so self-conscious and uptight -- I'm afraid of pulling something! *Zoinks!!*

I mean, what are my goals? Besides better sex. Physical strength, endurance, more flexibility. I'll also sleep better, and with time I'll need less sleep. Less sleep means I can get more done, and if I can get more done, everybody will be happy, me especially!!! I will also be more alert at work, which is very important in my job. If I'm more alert I can beat the guys, and if I can beat the guys ... then I get to keep my job. It's that simple.

I'm hoping that past experience will translate into more success this spring. I really don't want to do this for one month, maybe two, and then give up. I mean, if I can't keep up with it then I'll have to give it up, but I hope I don't get soooo discouraged this year like in years past. I really want to stick with it this time. The thing that derailed my train last season was that damn pair of shoes. That's the last time I save money on running shoes by buying them at Meijer, although they were New Balance. Not like it was some generic shoe, I'm not that stupid. I have special feet, thanks to several years of dancing en pointe in ballet classes. Bunions are a bitch, and that means I must buy name-brand shoes.

But never in a million years did I imagine that a pair of brand-new New Balance running shoes would not only give my feet pain, they also gave me hip and knee joint pain! And yes, it was the shoes, because when I put on my old, beat-up Nike Airs, my running time increased, with no hip OR knee joint pain!

Okay enough of that. One thing I love about my body: my arms. I have great arms. It won't take long to regain muscle definition in my arms. I wish I could say the same about my legs, but at least I can enjoy nice arms while I whip my legs into shape. (My legs are never far behind; they're just not where my arms are in muscle tone.) I am also blessed with a nice flat stomach. Without doing anything. I can eat half a large deluxe pizza, guzzle it down with some beer, eat a few donuts on top of that, and still have a flat stomach.

I've been pretty good about eating right; yet another reason I would like to make physical movement more incorporated into my lifestyle. I mean, eating right is all good and fine; but it's only half the picture, y'know?

Ah, to be drumming right now. Yet another thing I could spend my hard-earned tax dollars on: a new drum set. That counts as physical exercise, right? Drumming and having sex ... what more could a girl want?

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