December 17th, 2004

Long road home

No, I'm not making this up, v2.0

From the Department of the Weird, and Yet, Not... A CMU student had an unusual situation while driving home this afternoon. She had a boa constrictor in her dashboard. Oh, she knew about it -- she just didn't want him in the dashboard, she wanted him in the pillowcase she put him in for transport. It is unclear whether she was driving home for the holidays, or heading back to school, I thought I heard one report say she was heading back to Mount Pleasant, not heading home (which, given the holidays, you'd think she'd've been doing)... but as the story goes, she had to double back when she discovered her pet boa was not in the pillowcase she put him in, but was in fact, in her dashboard while she was driving.

She called an auto garage, they got him out, she was reunited with her beloved pet, yadda, yadda, that's not the real story. The real story is the pet's name -- and no, I'm not making this up! "Mister Cracker Basket Sassy Pants" is what she named her pet boa constrictor.

Because, you know, that's what you'd call a boa constrictor.

...I got nothing, been one, very lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng day. Long and boring. Because, you know, that's the kind of day you want when you've been fighting a headache all damn day.

I need a winter hat. I need a good, Yukon Territory-worthy winter hat. Pasha pissed on all the winter hats I had (that I minded being seen in public in, that is). So now I have to find a new one. A warm one.

I also need a shower. Showers are good, especially when you want to smell purty, like a rose. Or when you want to write about the fact that you are in need of a good, hot, sudsy, shower, with the faucets turned up high, like one of those power washers used to clean the sides of building structures.


We interrupt this fun, witty, clever, one-way banter to bring you this latest bulletin on the only cat in America to have survived spay surgery, the now-famous "Pasha":

She is doing well.

And now, back to our story...


What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I think I said something about going home??? I have a home to go to??? Wait... you mean I don't have to venture out to Meijer's to get milk and/or gas, I can really go home????

Now why would I want to do that when I can sit here at the computer and prolong the headache some more???
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