January 8th, 2008

endless sky


 Today I realized, rather humbly, that I need to figure out a different way to tackle all my New Year's Resolutions. I just don't have enough time to do ALL of them every day. I think I need to pick specific days to get to them; or I just need to to re-think how I approach them ... for instance, I can post to my journal here from home OR from work, provided I am not swamped at work. 

Guitar-playing on the other hand can only happen at home. I do not wish to lug that thing to work and back. Not only will it draw unwanted attention ("Do you take requests?" "Uh, no, I don't"), it puts that thing at greater risk of injury and/or damage, and/or theft. Since I've waited nearly 30 years to finally have a guitar of my own, there is no way I'm going to put it in a position to be taken away from me. Besides, it's one thing to transport your musical instrument to a bonafide gig, quite another to take it with you to work where your attention will be elsewhere. 

Reading the Bible will happen every day, although I did not get to it yesterday or today. I had good reason today, I spent an hour at Tires Plus, not counting travel time. But man, the windshield wipers are working now! Hooray!

As for the other Resolution, well ... that unfortunately has to wait until I've done with this miscarriage. I did however get the handwritten journal started. That felt good to get that underway, and it feels good to know I won't have to rely on memory to give the information to any future doctors I may see. I can't wait to start living up to Resolution #4 though, heh, heh. :)

Speaking of miscarriage, can I just say today was a real challenge at work. The 'flow' was really heavy, all day. Large chunks of matter coming out of me. I almost didn't make it to the restroom on time earlier! That was almost a small disaster. The whole thing is a disaster frankly, and there's no one I can ask questions of! Tomorrow it will have been 2 weeks since the final stage of this miscarriage began, so why am I having heavy flow today??? Heavy flow with big chunks! And the thing that concerns me is the blood is bright red - not dark red like it started out being. Bright, fresh-blood red. I'm not in any debilitating pain, I'm not running a fever (my temp last night was 97 degrees as a matter of fact), my appetite and energy level are same as ever, in fact, if anything they're higher than normal. 

I think I may just suck it up and go to the hospital tomorrow. I need some answers, I need to know if my body is okay...