UNDERWEAR BAN ... A bill trying to get passed in the Florida state legislature that would ban students of the high school variety from wearing clothes that would expose underwear.
NEGLECTED KIDS LAWYER ... Florida is one of 15 states that got an 'F' for legal representation of abused and neglected kids. The other states are as follows: Alaska, Delaware, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Maine, Missouri, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Rhode Island, South Dakota and Washington.
PRISON RIOT ... A 2-hour long mutiny at an Indiana prison has been brought under control (so says the report). The report also says the perimeter of the New Castle facility is "secured" and that no inmates escaped. But does anyone really believe that? C'mon. Where there's a will there's a way! At the heart of the "disturbance" (as CNN called it) were inmates moved there from Arizona (through an agreement devised between Arizona and Indiana legal authorities) who a) didn't want to be moved there and b) were upset they couldn't smoke anymore. Now THAT'S how prison should be done! Move the offenders far from home and take away their smoking privileges.
CHENEY IMPEACHMENT ... Blah, blah, blah, Cheney misinterpreted the info on weapons of mass destruction, and former Presidential candidate and Ohio congressman Dennis Kucinich has officially filed the articles of impeachment. Mr. Kucinich made a good point: if you impeach Bush, then Cheney becomes President.
CRYING VIRGIN MARY ... Orlando. Replica statue of a Michaelangelo original. Displayed at a furniture store. Give. Me. A. Break.
CAPTAIN AMERICA BURRITO ... "Is that a burrito in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" Thanks Len Jennings (whom I stole that from)! A doctor dressed in a Capt. America costume stuck a burrito in his pocket and asked a woman at a bar to touch it. She did not. He groped her. She called police, who then caught him flushing a joint down a toilet at the bar. He was on his way to a costume party for medical professionals, hence the costume.